Memories of Southern Sugar is My Rosh Hashanah Sweetness
#RoshHashana is the Jewish New Year, the world's birthday! Happy birthday, world!
I may be on a sugar-free diet, so no honey for me. But there’s still plenty of sweetness to go around.
Speaking of which, my parents and I recently celebrated my Grandma Lue's 93rd birthday in her cheery, yellow bedroom in my parent’s Northern California home.
Y'all. 93 years.
As I engage in reflection about my life and my dreams in anticipation of #RoshHashanah, I'm reminded of the arc of Grandma Luvenia's life and how it's been an inspiration for me.
Here are a few gems:
—Share your love abundantly - In Grandma Lue's case, this meant pulling out 5-7(!!!) pies from her deep freezer exclusively filled with pies. Talk about Southern Hospitality. Her grandparenting game was on point.
—Don't take any shit. Grandma Lue sure as hell didn't! She was very comfortable setting boundaries and letting her mind be known, whether at home or at RCA where she was the only black woman working in payroll, I think for decades. She also stood ready to fight, if necessary.
—It's okay to start over. Grandma grew up on a farm in Clinton, North Carolina and was married as a teenager to an older man in not a good situation. Eventually after a few years, with the support of family, she left him. Still a teenager, Luvenia moved to NYC. She made a life for herself there and met the love of her life, my beloved Grandpa Joedell Baskin, originally from Okalona, Mississippi. He was the sugar to Grandma Lue's salt.
Credit: LBB. Grandma Lue, in all her adorable glory, a few years ago.
—Speaking of sugar, use it liberally. As someone who is happily on a sugar-free diet, I take this mostly metaphorically. Sugar, or sweetness & positivity, can go a long way. When I was younger, a day spent with Grandma Lue didn't pass without her saying "sugar" at least 20 times. "Good morning, baby! Gimme some sugar!" "Sugar, don't go in there." "Oh, I had the funniest conversation with Sugarman today,” “Just put some sugar on it, honey.” And the penultimate usage of "sugar" Grandma Lue pulled off was one morning when a young family member came into the kitchen for breakfast wearing tattered old pajamas that now had a new rip in the front, “Oh, baby, go change your clothes—your sugar’s hanging out!”
—Go full throttle. Which she took literally (hence the occasional speeding ticket, haha), but also in pursuit of her dreams, in partnership with my Grandpa Joe. After working for decades and scrupulously saving (thanks to Grandpa Joe), they opened a lounge, Baskin’s Lounge, and ran it together in Newark until they retired to Gloucester, VA. They enjoyed a picturesque, sweet 10-15 years there. I’m so effing proud of them and am deeply appreciative of the strong model and foundation they established for me as their grandchild.
Credit: Ken Baskin. Grandpa Joe teaching me how to ride a bike on their Gloucester, VA property. (So much love….!!!!)