Jews Talk Racial Justice - Ep 67: When “Helpful” Feedback is Hurtful
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QUICK EPISODE OVERVIEW
This week, we’re sharing an excerpt from one of our “Shared Agreements” videos of Racial Justice Launch Pad, a recently-released Joyous Justice program. April and Tracie discuss the dynamics of power and privilege baked into the well-known phrase “the customer is always right.” They also unpack the pattern of being “helpful” by giving (critical) feedback. They teach us what it can look like when we give feedback that is mindful and relational.
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Access the audio version with a full transcript here.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Think back on your experiences with feedback, specifically if you were in or proximate to the role of being a customer. What did that situation look like? Is giving feedback something that you do easily or that you typically might hesitate doing?
Right off the bat, April tells us that “Feedback is an opportunity to practice mindfulness and deepen relationships.” How do you interpret this? Can you think of examples of either giving or receiving feedback (or being proximate to it) where this did or didn’t happen?
Tracie reminds us (white folks in particular) that every time there are two people, there is power and privilege. What does this mean? What might this look like when it plays out in real time, whether it involves race, class, gender, ability, etc.
April gives a brief history and helps us interrogate the common phrase, “The customer is always right.” What is your experience with this phrase and what does it look like in the world? Has it ever guided you through real life situations?
Tracie names that often, the change she was looking for isn’t needed and is something that she can let go or is just a preference rather than a need. How do you distinguish a need from a preference in situations when you might want to give feedback and how do you decide between naming something and letting it go?
Tracie shares a story from a time she was acting as an indignant customer and gave feedback that wasn’t helpful. How does this story resonate with you? Have you ever been in a similar situation, either as a customer or as a patron? What were the dynamics of privilege and power there?
What does being helpful look like to you? Is “helpful” something that you would describe yourself as? How do your identities play into (or not play into) your relationship to “helpfulness”?
In practice, what does mindful and relational feedback look like to you? What is the subtext of feedback that is genuinely effective, helpful, and relationship-building?
INSIGHTS FROM THIS EPISODE
COMMENTS OR QUESTIONS?
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