Jews Talk Racial Justice - S2E14: The Quicksand of Comparing Pain
QUICK EPISODE OVERVIEW
Why do we sometimes find ourselves arguing over whose pain is the worst? What effect does that competition, also known as Oppression Olympics, have on us? How can we find an alternative to the very real impulse to argue? April and Tracie dig into these questions and more.
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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
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April and Tracie start to discuss one of their least favorite topics, the Oppression Olympics. As Tracie described her example of this type of behavior, did you imagine a time when you have engaged in this type of conversation? What was it? How did it make you feel? Did anything get resolved or revealed because of it?
April compares the oppression olympics to quicksand. How does this land with you? When you think back to the example you thought of, does this imagery reflect your experience? What does sinking into the quicksand feel like for you?
April and Tracie talk about how part of what happens in these exchanges is an attempt to erase pain or feel like your pain is not heard? Is this true for you? Where do you think it comes from? What ways can you begin to heal from this pain so I do not react from it in the future?
Tracie uses the example of this year of the COVID-19 global pandemic to continue demonstrating how we can navigate our pain so it can coexist with someone else's. How can you use the conversations you’ve had navigating the difficulties of the pandemic to talk about other types of pain?
April reminds us that most times when we engage in these conversations, we actually don’t truly know the extent of the ways in which an oppression we don’t experience has manifested and operated throughout history. What history do you know well and what history do you need to learn more about?
In order to better navigate these situations, April encourages us to cultivate kindness and humility. She gives us an example of what you could say, so using her framework, how would you put this into your own words?
April points out the importance of coming from a place of partnership when working across differences. What does partnership to your communities look like? How can you act that way to other communities?
Tracie and April remind us that there is an abundance of healing available to us. How do you think taking this approach will help you avoid the quicksand in the future?
INSIGHTS FROM THIS EPISODE
“When one starts comparing and has this ‘either/or frame’ - of, ‘it’s either we have it worse or you do, because our pain matters, and your pain essentially is not as bad as ours,’ and essentially.” Like, not that it doesn’t matter, but it’s not as bad as ours, essentially implying that it’s not as important.When that scarcity happens, it just leads like quick sand. ”
“You can advocate fiercely for your people without stepping on another people”
“Pitting us against each other as one of the ways white nationalists keep us from working with those who are our natural allies.”
“When Jews are new to movement spaces, a challenge they can experience is that they may be seeking visibility, but it’s not the right time or place, and that might be a space that’s working for racial justice.
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“In terms of oppression, we’re all swimming and navigating through this sea of unhealed harm. And it’s a distraction, it’s a distraction, and a disempowerment, a tool of disempowerment, for us to say, who has it worse, rather than us working to support each other through this and lift each other up.”
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